One of My Respected Readers Says ...
| The Good Christian Girl: A Fable | Christianity Today One of my very esteemed readers says church leaders and especially those with daughters should read this. Is this really what it's like? |
posted by theultrarev at 9:02 PM
Comments on "One of My Respected Readers Says ..."
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Anonymous said ... (8:34 PM, July 28, 2010) :
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Anonymous said ... (3:23 PM, July 30, 2010) :
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Cathy and Jim said ... (10:24 AM, August 06, 2010) :
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theultrarev said ... (9:09 AM, August 07, 2010) :
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Caroline said ... (12:33 PM, August 14, 2010) :
post a commentA good series that talks along these lines that I've recently seen was Tommy Nelson's series on dating / courtship and how it all works biblically and he teacher right out of Song of Salomon / Song of Songs
Hey this is Jess and I know that it isnt completely like this. In some of the Christian books on dating that I most highly respect, it is about creating a good base of friendship, and then spiritual oneness and then physical oneness in marriage. It isn't saying not to date,it's just saying to not let passion consume you and forget to actually connect to the guy that you are going to marry. But I think i was fortunate to be raised up that way, not as "all dating is bad" But i think that dating can be seen as his forbidden fruit that only non-christians can have when they're so young. But honestly, highschool relationships are stupid. And i know that I am not as culturally relevant as most other people. I'd say that most christian girls would date now anwyways, regardless of what is told to them in the church, because i think it comes off as so unattainable. So far away. Waiting till even the end of highschool seems like a long time. And so yes, some of it is accurate, but i dont think that waiting until a more mature age to date sends you careening down a path of total self-destruction, though i could see how that story could be valid if the girls have the types of influences that were in the story. sorry this was so long. oh, and an amazing book for your daughter to read (every girl should read it) is Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy
I've seen it and it breaks my heart, seeing wonderful Christian women wondering why they are single at 30-35-40.... In a way it comes down to basic math. There are at most 2, probably 1.5 single adult men in church for every 3 single adult women.
Thanks for your insight Jess.
C&J -- I never thought about the basic math of it.
In my personal experience, this is exactly how it is. And then some. And the guys you've been hanging out with and being friends with and going to Bible study with, eventually, in their mid-late 30s, marry a woman at least 10 years younger than you whom they've known for about five minutes, usually from a different church. I thank God for leading me (kicking and screaming) to a man who was outside my church circle, which was closed to me romantically from early on. I have many, many fantastic, single, female friends who are beautiful and faithful and successful who started wondering what they did wrong about 10 years ago and now have given up entirely on the notion of ever marrying a Christian man. Some are resolved, some are bitter and a small # (maybe one) are still hopeful that the "right" man will be sent to them by God. I don't have an answer for my dear friends. I feel that there is a huge double standard and mixed messages and sexism that comes from the church. I think the guys have it bad, too, b/c they've been told they shouldn't date; that dating can't be part of the process of getting to know if this woman is "the one." On paper it might all sound good, but in practice, it's very unnatural. I don't have the answers. But this is an issue that is so close to my heart.